Elmo, Suede, and Facebook

Today I’d like to talk about Elmo, Project Runway’s Suede, and the popular social networking site, Facebook. These three seemingly unrelated items are actually remarkably similar. Let me explain.

“Elmo loves you!”
Ah, Elmo. That cute, friendly, and cheerful little red-furred monster that lives on Sesame Street. According to sesamestreet.org, Elmo likes learning, laughing, looking at books, and playing. Notice anything missing from the list? How about the third person? This adorable three-and-a-half-year-old characteristically refers to himself in the third person.

At this point you may be asking yourself How can an educational organization like Sesame Workshop condone the use of improper English from one of their characters? In the FAQ section of their website, they offer the following response, “Elmo mimics the behavior of many preschoolers. Like 3-year-olds, he doesn’t always have the skills or knowledge to speak proper English. Cast members and many of the other Muppets, however, do demonstrate proper usage of the English language.” If that’s the case, I guess Elmo has a learning disability because since his debut on November 18, 1985 he has yet to learn this simple lesson.

“Suede rocked it!”
OK, it’s one thing if a cute little furry monster does it and quite another coming from a 37-year-old man. If you’re a fan of Bravo’s Project Runway then I don’t need to tell you about one of the many colorful contestants of Season 5, Suede. This self-proclaimed edgy, captivating, and alternative designer actually isn’t too far off from our little friend, Elmo. Like Elmo, Suede sports a brightly-colored mane (electric blue) and like Elmo, Suede also refers to himself in the third person. When questioned by New York Magazine about the tick, Suede said the following:

I certainly can explain it. It’s fun, it’s not meant to be taken so seriously, it’s cheeky, and let’s face it, we’re living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we’re still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it’s really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I’m speaking in.

So Suede speaks in the third person to help boost public morale? Yeah, right. He’s just making that up because someone made an issue of it.

“What are you doing right now?”
So how does Facebook fall into this? I recently created an account on the popular social networking site, Facebook. “[Facebook users] can join networks organized by city, workplace, school, and region to connect and interact with other people. People can also add friends and send them messages, and update their personal profile to notify friends about themselves.” (Wikipedia.)

After you log into the site you’re faced with a simple question, “What are you doing right now?”

Seems innocent enough, right? Wrong. Once you click inside the box the grayed-out question disappears and is replaced your user name and the word “is”.

Lets say, for example, that you’re reading a book. So you type in “reading a book”. Fine. But what if you wanted to add a little more info, like how you feel about the book? “Nikhita is reading a book and I think it’s great!” That won’t work. How about: “Nikhita is reading a book and she thinks it’s great!” Viola! Before you know it, instead of sounding like a normal person, you’ve just been forced into referring to yourself in the third person.

Answer this question and not only have you just updated your status, you’ve also just joined the ranks of a three-and-a-half-year-old ball of red fur and a 37-year-old man suffering from delusions of grandiur and the misconception that improper English spoken publicly can heal the nation’s ills. You are talking about yourself in the third person.

But don’t worry. Facebook has a group for that: Anybody who has ever spoken in third person.

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Reader Challenge: Can you think of any other notable “third-person people”?
Examples: Jimmy, the obnoxious character from Seinfeld and parents of young children—”It hurts Mommy when you bite her.”